How I Became A GayLord Ninja
Being gay in America, even if you’re white and from a nice middle-class family is not what I’d call a picnic. This is especially true when you don’t really have all the goods to fill your…picnic basket to perfection, if you know what I mean. Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to burn the basket and leave the goods scattered around for the bears in order for your picnic to become the social event of the season. Nope. All you have to do is get yourself over to the Purple Fantasy Den, and listen to the wise sayings of the man that runs the sweet little den of iniquity, and let him school you in the ways of the GayLords.
My journey with him began in the summer months of my twenty-third year. I’d finally given up hoping to gain a few more inches anywhere. I mean, it was bad enough that I was kinda short at a measly 5’7”. What was worse than being vertically challenged had to do with the pene chiquito I rocked between my thighs. In plain English, I have a little dick. When I say little, I don’t mean seven inches or even six. On a good day, when I have lots of fluid in my body, and whatever is inspiring me is especially er, inspirational I top out at five inches.
I’d just lost yet another potential Mr. Right when he got a gander at my goodie basket, and I was feeling lower than low. At home alone on a Friday, the clock just barely ticking over into the nine o’clock zone… and me with my laptop open on my nightstand ready to spend another evening wanking to the visions of collegiate beauty Corbin Fisher put together with such flair time and again.
That’s when it happened. I clicked on a link that popped up at the side of my tumblr page, and suddenly I was gasping with laughter. Who was this man who pulled me straight—well, not straight, but definitely right out of my funky mood? There was another link to something he called The Purple Fantasy Den. I clicked, and stumbled into the zen center of my soul.
He posted snips of stories, bits and bobbles of wisdom wrapped up in hot sex and heartwarming moments of connection. I skipped over to the page where he talked about being who he was… and I was hooked right through the gills. That’s when my world stood still. He posted a snip of a story about a man(?)womm(?)… a person named Michael who had breasts and a dick… and who liked himself that way. And whose partner liked him that way.
If a guy like Michael could find love and acceptance, even if it was just in fiction, then there had to be hope for me. Someone could love me. Even with a five inch cock.
I decided I would learn to use my cock, lips, teeth and tongue like a ninja. I would be a gay ninja of scorching sex. Once I finished the excerpt. I went to an online bookstore, bought everything the author had written, and went on to buy everything I could lay hands on about how to pleasure a man.
Then I started to study in earnest.